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Nagging, divorce, witchcraft and the lottery

I was cleaning out the garage out last weekend at the behest of my beloved, which has been an undertaking that has been festering for too long. I took a break and I came across this article in the WSJ. At first it seems like something from the Onion.

The WSJ article states: "Nagging can become a prime contributor to divorce when couples start fighting about the nagging rather than talking about the issue at the root of the nagging, says Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies." See the full article.   I am a divorce attorney so I need to know about these things. I investigated further for professional reasons and not to procrastinate, you understand.

 I first turned to the Onion to find out whether "nagging" was, in fact, listed as a prime contributor  to divorce. Apparently not. 31% of those divorcing said they wanted to resume having sex. See Onion stats. 

More google "pseudo research" led me to a google article analyzing nagging in an old 1899 medical journal.

Another web site has a brief history of nagging starting with Socrates wife who forced him out of the house and into philosophy. Thanks Mrs. Socrates. 

Another site reviews a book the Scold's Bridle which examines the history of using a bridle to silence a nagging wife in the middle ages.

One definition of nagging is "To annoy by constant scolding, complaining, or urging." 

Finally, I looked for a good quote from the bard to round things off but instead found this gem. 

After all the negativity related to nagging, I was beginning to wonder, there must be some evolutionary purpose.  I found this story under the headline "Nagging wife, sausage help man win $4.2M lottery" A "nagging" wife who pushed her husband to buy a lottery ticket helped scoop the $4.2 million ($7.7 million New Zealand dollar) first prize -- with only minutes to spare. The man from New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland, bought his ticket just two minutes before ticket sales closed Saturday night. "My wife had been nagging me all week to get a ticket, so I when saw the Lotto sign ... I sprinted in to get the ticket before they closed," said the man, who asked not to be identified -- normal practice among lottery winners in New Zealand. "I must have been their last customer of the night," he said, adding that the young married couple had had a "rough" couple of years, reduced to one income after having children. "I have never been so glad to listen to my wife's nagging," the man said Tuesday.He discovered their newly won fortune Sunday thanks to his wife's request for a barbecued sausage. Out shopping for bargains, the man said he didn't have enough money to buy his wife the sausage she'd asked him for. So he decided to check his Saturday lottery ticket in case he'd won a small prize. "I could not believe it when they said I was actually the big winner," he said. When he showed the printout to his wife, she initially thought they had won $4,200 (NZ$7,700). "When she realized how much it really was, she fell to the floor, and then said: 'but all I wanted was a sausage.'" 

So what is the function of nagging, its causes, its symptoms? Is it a bad habit which should be banished with post it notes plastered around the kitchen? Does it invariably lead to divorce or cruel and inhuman punishments. Or could there be some benefits? It seemed that there were pros and cons. On the plus side, we got western philosophy and in New Zealand a man won the lottery. On a personal level, my wife and I ( she did help -- it was a collaborative effort) finally cleared out our crap from the garage and now we have have more space to accumulate our children's crap in the future.

Los Angeles Divorce


Paternity of twins

A common sense decision in a case, where a man had a child with another man's wife. In affirmance, Fourth District holds that petition of man who sought to assert paternity of twins born during their mother’s marriage to another man, fails under Dawn D.because he had no personal relationship with the twins and could not rebut the husband’s paternity presumption under Fam C §7611(a) and (d). See the case at CFLR. The comments to that case state:  "The concurring justices in Dawn D . concluded that a man who fathers a child by a married woman “takes the risk that the child will be raised within that marriage and that he will be excluded from participation in the child’s life.” The answer to that, they advised, is for such men to find someone to marry and to father children within that marriage. “The due process clause,” they said, “is not an instrument for disrupting the marital family in order to satisfy the biological" father’s unilateral desire . . . to turn his genetic connection into a personal relationship.” This “get-your-own-wife” way of looking at situations like the one in Dawn D. and the one in this case may seem harsh to some, but seems to us like commonsense advice. We’re amazed at the willingness of Neil’s wife and family to help in raising the children he believes he fathered with another man’s wife. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, we can’t help but wonder what kind of relationship would actually occur among the participants if Neil had been permitted to assert his relationship. We can’t help but think that the kind of forced congeniality that would have been likely to ensue wouldn’t benefit anybody, least of all the twins, who would have felt the tension and wondered whether they were the cause of it.

Los Angeles DIvorce

What is the definition of hypocrite

Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich in 1999 asked his second wife for an “open marriage” or a divorce at the same time he was giving speeches around the country on family and religious values, his former wife, Marianne, said Thursday.In an interview with The Washington Post, Marianne Gingrich said her former husband called her on May 10, 1999, as she was having dinner with her 84-year-old mother and said, “I want a divorce.” Read article in Washington Post

The WSJ also has a great article on Newt's lack of academic credentials, all the while professing to be the only candidate with a firm grasp of history. WSJ article


Kobe's wife awarded $75 in divorce

SANTA ANA, Calif. (KTLA) -- Kobe Bryant's wife Vanessa has been awarded $75 million in their divorce property settlement, TMZ reports. Citing sources close to the couple, TMZ says that the property settlement agreement has already been finalized.Vanessa is reportedly walking roughly half of the former couple's estimated $150 million in assets. Read article

Divorce and Money

Los Angeles Family Law Attorney

Divorce Custody



The Finances Of Divorce

This from the Huffington POst- some very basic advice about finances during the divorce: "A client came into my office the other day in tears. She was just about to sign papers to purchase her new home, but was now feeling unsure of her decision. My client was in the middle of negotiating her financial agreement and wanted to prepare herself for the fresh start she desired once her divorce became final." Read full article.

Divorce and Money

Los Angeles Family Law Attorney

Divorce Custody